Happy 2010 to everyone! It has been quite a whirlwind of activity over the past two weeks or so. The holidays in the Holen house are kicked off by Lilly's birthday on the 21st. I took the 21st off (I usually work from home on Mondays, and got all of my work done Sunday night so I was FREE!!!). We went to the mall and finished up the Christmas shopping, went out for lunch, and went to see Princess and the Frog. That movie was super-cute...I think I loved it as much as Lil. We then came home and had cake and presents. She is so excited to be 5, and I am struggling just a bit with the fact that our baby is 5. She is turning into such a big girl, and while I love the little person she is turning out to be (for the most part...there is that strong-will that I am not always so fond of :), I miss her baby-ness so much. I think that is a natural hurdle that parents have to overcome when their youngest grows up. On one hand, I think that if I had just one more baby, I would be able to apply all I have learned with the first three kids, especially not to rush through it because it goes so fast. But, then, in another five years, here I would be, with aching arms, watching my baby grow up. I know another baby isn't the answer, and quite honestly, another baby would probably land me in the loony bin! I have my hands overflowing with life right now. Adding more would just not be a good idea.
So, anyway, she's five now...big stuff.
Then, we had Christmas. I was, at first, sad that the snow ruined our Christmas plans. On Christmas Eve, we usually go to the Konz (Ed's mom's family) get-together. The food there is fabuloso! I thought about that food all day on Christmas eve, only to decide that it wasn't safe to venture out in the quest for delicious food. On Christmas day, we have the Backes (my mom's family) get-together. I love those big family gatherings, where there is noise, people, and kids everywhere! So, I was disappointed that we weren't going to go.
But.....
I had THREE STRAIGHT DAYS where I did not leave the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND....I let the house stay messy! The kids and Ed and I played, watched movies, ate, and drank wine (Ed and I, not the kids). I did clean a bit the day after Christmas and actually dusted my bedroom! That is how much time I had!!!! It was so great, but left me wanting more. So, now I am planning to do nothing on my weekends from here on out for awhile. We had something going on at least one of the two days on the weekends since November 20. That is a lot of running around. But, aside from a birthday party we are hosting for Alex on the 10th, I have nothing on the calendar for any upcoming weekend.
So, Christmas was beautiful. It was very special to be able to spend it at home with the kids, and really felt like the way it should be.
Then, on the 30th, was Alex's 10th birthday. I took that day off from work as well, and we laid around all morning. Then, we all went out for lunch, to the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, and swimming at the AmericInn here in Cold Spring. Then home for supper with g-ma and g-pa Holen and cake/presents. It was such a busy day! So, all of the feelings I am having about Lilly turning 5, I am also having with Alex turning 10. These past 10 years have been probably the fastest of my life. Then, I think about how fast the next 10 years will go, and before I know it, I will have 2 kids in college!!! AAAHHHHH!!! How can that be?!?!? But, again, I love the person Alex has become. He is caring, thoughtful, and a little quirky. I see a lot of me in him (scary thought).
Then, we celebrated Christmas with the Holens over this past weekend.
So, here I am, at 1 am, updating my blog. There has been so much going on, tomorrow will be like a giant sigh of relief.
In addition to ruminating over how big my kids are getting, I am also setting my course for 2010. I have made several resolutions for the year, all of which really tie into the same common thread. Happiness...
The first resolution I have is to not allow stress to control my life. I am very susceptible to the force of stress, and over the past few months have allowed it to conquer me, and to rob me of my happiness. Stress pretty much renders me useless and makes me incredibly inattentive to the needs of others. So, while I have been feeling sad about how fast the kids are growing, I know the only true solution to that is to take each moment, one at a time, and deal with it effectively and thoroughly, so I can have no regrets. But, I must overcome the stress first. This will not be an easy job for me because all of the areas of my life spill over into each other. I often times thing that my life is like a big Thanksgiving dinner. It is robust, full, and very satisfying. But if you eat it day after day after day, it is just a little too much. My plate is full, and everything is running together. My work spills over into my home, my home spills over into work, and all of it affects my ability to take care of myself.
Soooo....resolution #1--beat the stress monster!
Resolution #2 has to do with weight loss. Yep. Again. I am not going into detail here because it is a broken record. But, I will try, and try hard. I am planning to reward myself with a little ink when I accomplish my goal. I am also planning to register for a few 5k's to force myself to train for something. I have a great motivator in my younger brother, Rick, (who is in fantastic shape), and he won't let me register for an event and not do it. So, there is no other choice but to do it.
Resolution #3--Not to measure myself against anyone else's measuring stick. I will not allow myself to feel badly about my accomplishments (or lack of them), my material possessions, or my appearance unless they do not meet my standards. I will not allow other people's standards of appearance, success, or accomplishment persuade me into feeling bad or into making choices I wouldn't otherwise make. I am done seeking approval. I am who I am, and I am incredibly blessed. I have decided where to pour my energy and my resources and I am going to give it all that I have. And I believe that I will reap rewards far greater than material possessions.
Resolution #4--get back in touch with me. This is really the ultimate goal, the combination of 1, 2, and 3. I know what kind of person I am, and I generally like that person. But the stress and busy-ness of life has begun to change that about me, and I don't like it. I am taking myself back, and am prepared to make any necessary changes in my life to accomplish that. So watch out world!!!!
Anyway, these are the thoughts coming out of my head at 1 am. A bit random, sort of rambling, but hey, if you didn't like it, you wouldn't be reading this :-)
BTW--I plan to mail out my Christmas cards sometime in the next week...I haven't forgotten!
Have a blessed and joyous 2010!!!!
